The Wrong Kind of Monster Story

Poor Things presents itself as a straightforward work. The term "radical" has become the common description that people use to describe this concept. Liberating. Feminist Frankenstein reimagining, whatever. But the color story here tells you everything, actually betrays the whole conceit before you even realize what's happening.

Black and white London. Obvious enough. The city of Lisbon suddenly transforms into a sickly yellow and purple color scheme which appears to be hand-painted in the style of Victorian pornography that attempts to create an exotic atmosphere. The production team built vulvas into the art nouveau wallpaper. Subtle. The blue-green color scheme in Alexandria creates an exploitative atmosphere during the poverty porn sequence while Paris becomes clinical white when Bella enters the brothel. White. For sex work. The color of sterility appears when she should be most free.

Actually, wait. That's the problem.

Holly Waddington puts Bella in these ridiculous puffy sleeves that progressively deflate as she "matures," except the final costume is basically just fancier versions of what she started with. Same silhouette. Same constraints. Just better fabric. The film thinks it's so clever having her discover masturbation and declare "I must go punch that hairy business!" The camera performs another fisheye distortion which creates the effect of being trapped inside an experimental theater project from 1973.

Two and a half hours of this. Stone moves between using baby-like speech and then delivers socialist theory quotes before returning to the mansion. The costume design literally puts her in a medical coat over the same Victorian corset structure at the end. Come on.

Robbie Ryan shoots everything through these lenses that make you seasick, which maybe that's intentional because watching Mark Ruffalo do whatever accent that was supposed to be made me physically nauseous. Bella witnesses refugees in Alexandria before she decides to give them money before she continues her journey. That's it. The movie reveals its true nature through this scene. A rich person's idea of consciousness-raising that ends exactly where it started, just with better vocabulary.

The quilted ivory satin material used for her bedroom walls continues to stay in my mind. The design shows a padded cell design but it creates a luxurious environment. The cinematographer commits to this nauseating fisheye thing even during the sex scenes which, there are so many, and each one shot like we're watching through a doorknob's perspective.

The socialist sex worker teaches Bella about collective action. She returns five minutes later to receive her inherited property. The film spends ninety minutes showing radical possibility then says actually, no, she'll just become a slightly nicer version of her creator. Even keeps the maid.

Jerskin Fendrix's score sounds broken. The device works properly at times but its annoying behavior occurs more frequently than its occasional proper operation. These four-note violin screeches that come back over and over like the film's afraid we'll forget we're watching something "unconventional."
It's competent. Stone fully commits. The craft work contains complex details which become apparent even when it presents itself in an unpleasant manner. The wealthy class uses revolutionary costumes for theatrical purposes before they select to live comfortably.